1. The day you go to the airport will probably have the nicest weather you’ve had in weeks.

You’ll check the weather report and realise that it’ll be lovely for the exact amount of days that you’re away.

2. You’ll also miraculously experience the heaviest traffic you’ve had in weeks.

3. Once you get there and past security, you’ll realise you haven’t got the right power adapter and have to pay an extortionate price to get one.

What is even the point of there being different power adapters in every country? And why must the UK insist on having one totally different to every other place in the world?

4. You’ll also decide that you absolutely must have every toiletry product in travel-size.

Suddenly, you’ll believe that on this weekend getaway to Amsterdam, you’re going to need sea salt texturising spray for the first time in your life.

5. You might buy one of these pillows, which you won’t end up using because they actually do fuck all.

The only pillow that will actually make you less comfortable.

6. You will realise that airports are the final battleground for franchised coffee places.

It’s where Eat, Pret, Starbucks, Costa, and Caffé Nero all go for the final battle.

7. You’ll treat yourself to an M&S meal deal, which is frankly a British tradition and should be respected as such.

8. When you land back in Britain, without fail, it will NOT be sunny.

Every single time, the sky will be grey. Even if all forecasts predicted perfect weather, the clouds will uniformly align over the airport upon your arrival. It’s just a known fact of the universe.

9. It’ll also be slightly colder than you expect.

It’ll look cold, but it’ll still somehow be colder.

10 And you’ll ask yourself, “Why did I ever return to this damp rock?”


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